love wins.

This is me.

me = ?

I sometimes wonder what life would be like if I was a different person, if I handled things differently, if my life had panned out differently than it did. Someone reading this might want to say something along the lines of don't get caught up in wishful thinking or things turned out the way that they did for a reason. Yes, yes, I realize. I have just reached a point in my life...meaning today...where all my thoughts are clashing and somewhere amidst all the chaos and confusion I find peace in knowing I am the way that I am. That I was created uniquely and purposely to do specific things as Chelsea Renee Wegesin.

Figuring out what I need to accomplish isn't on my mind either. This is one of those thought processes that seems stressful, confusing, and depressing, but in all reality, to me, it's not. There is just something about today, the seasons, and the weather that makes me think that life is okay the way that it is. It's one of those, "grab life by the horns" moments, where everything seems to be turning by different clocks, nothing is making sense, yet I know that everything is the way that it is supposed to be. Everything is going to be okay.

It is in this peace that I find myself; I find who Chelsea Renee Wegesin is really supposed to be and turn into, and also how far I have to go. But, seeing the distance I have to travel is encouraging, not demoralizing. I know that this magnificent journey includes many things that I want, that I don't want, and things that I will have to press through. And, for once, I am ready for it, I want to press through it, prove that I am strong enough. I am going to make it and I am going to make it well. I have a purpose and God did not create me and my purpose for me just to "try my best". Yeah, sometimes that's the best that I can do, but I am made of more, I am made from more, I am made for more. And more is what I will be, strive towards, and become.